GOLD RECORDS & SCHOOL GIRLS

What an eventful week! The highlight was attending my beautiful cousin Lisa’s wedding shower, where I was reunited with my aunt Gloria and, of course, the gorgeous blonde bride-to-be! I was a little bit late walking in the door, because I had run into a grounds-keeper with a golf cart and just couldn’t control myself: I had to do a couple loop-de-loops before actually walking in the door. Hehe.

The shower was a blast! I met Lisa’s friends (my favorite were a mother daughter duo, comprised of a young Texan millionheiress named Virginia and her four-year-old baby girl Olivia). We played all sorts of games, and I got to make a wedding dress for Lisa out of rolls and rolls of toilet paper. Too fun!

Aunt Gloria and I had too much champagne, and I loved the way she said “money” instead of “cool”. Gloria is the coolest person in my whole family. I love that woman. She is just so beautiful and so nice and so fun! If I had my life to do all over, I’d want to move to New York as a kid and live with her. I’d still do my music, but I’d be taking in Broadway, and all the other good things in life. I’d have a much more normal childhood, I wouldn’t a product of a brainwashing religion, and I’d be a city girl instead of a homeschooled weirdo! Well, it’s fun to dream anyway.

Later the same evening, I met up with my girls Hope and Jaime for a little girls night out. And then on Saturday, I reconnected with some super cool girlfriends from school, and a huge group of us went out dancing at a cute little place called Star Shoes in Hollywood. We had a blast, and I didn’t get home until almost five in the morning. Eeep! I can’t even remember the last time I was out that late, but hey, with as hard as I’ve been working, I deserve it!

And speaking of hard work, I’ve been practicing my butt off, and I finally started rehearsing with a backing band. It’s so much fun! Ever since I was little, I loved to practice. It’s so rewarding to come out of a session with a piece of music nailed. I love that! And then when there are people working together to play your music… it’s even more rewarding.

And since we’re on the subject of rewards, check this out! The guy who’s been trying to manage me, Jeremy, got a gold record today, for his “work” with the Ataris. When an album goes gold, each band member gets his own plaque, courtesy of the record label, but they can buy as many as they want and give them out as they please. So the Ataris coughed up a couple hundred bucks and gave one to Jeremy. It’s got his name on it and everything. The only thing missing from the inscription is the reason why the band gave him one, the part that says:

To Jeremy, who knows nothing about music, but sure sells our band a lot of drugs. Don’t stop, man! We love ya!

Disturbing, isn’t it? If only I had known what kind of person this guy was, I would never have agreed to let him manage me. When we first met, he said he ran his own record label and that he was in music artist management. He dropped a lot of names and seemed to know all the major players at the record labels. But the real clicher was when Britney Spears called him during our first meeting! I thought for sure that meant he was legitimate. Little did I know he was selling her coke! So I signed a contract with him the same week my father died without warning. I didn’t realize until later that he didn’t know the first thing about music, let alone artist management. In fact, he was a living mockery of music. But I was an emotional wreck, and my judgement was impaired, big time. It was then, in my darkest hour, in a time of grief and weakness, that he was able to con me into doing business with him. He had me believing he was for real, so all he had to do after that was make me some promises.

Now, however many months later, he hasn’t lived up to any of his promises. We were supposed to record four of my songs, live, on an acoustic piano. Instead, his friend the producer spent two and a half months in the studio, spun on some upper, and turned them into 80s-sounding pop songs with a retro synth piano and punk rock drums. Do you realize what that did? I was completely lost in the process. As an artist, it was like I had been completely removed from my own work.

This is not cool. This is not cool at all.

Of course, I voiced my concerns at the time, but I was repeatedly reassured that everything would be just fine and not to worry. So guess what? I shut my mouth. I actually thought this so-called manager knew what he was talking about. WRONG! Now I know he only called himself a manager so he could take contraband backstage at concerts. And then, somewhere along the line, he deluded himself into thinking he was one, and he lied to me and said he was one, and I believed him. But I don’t buy it anymore. This guy doesn’t do %^#@ for me!

Christine